Look Before You Type

I wrote this a few days ago:


This is hard for me to admit. But it's time to face the facts.

I am overextended,

in too deep,

over my head,

overwhelmed,

have bitten off more than I can chew.

I have never been a workaholic but even taking my sweet time with lots of breaks and entire days off,  I have somehow managed to get done what needs to be done.

At this point, what needs to be done is most assuredly not getting done.

For years I have fantasized about owning acres of farmland and building a more self-reliant lifestyle. Growing our own food, raising livestock, producing our own energy--the entire Mother Earth News schtick.

Well, we now have 3 acres. Not 300 or even 30, but 3. And it seems to be more than I can handle.

I never thought I was a superhomesteader like Jackie Clay, or a scrappy freeholder like Jenna at Cold Antler Farm. But I hoped that this chance to start over with more agriculture-friendly land would allow me to fulfill some of the farming urges I've been feeling for decades.

Now I'm wondering if too many of my personal decades have passed.

I didn't get around to finishing that post and the following day we had hard thunder storms. Somehow, not being able to even attempt to work outside shifted my point of view. It was dark and overcast outside but my skies were somehow sunnier. I'm still overwhelmed but, as Tom puts it, am on my way to just being whelmed.

If I had posted my doom and gloom thoughts, I would have heard from many of you with words of encouragement and sympathy, maybe some sharing of your own trials, and possibly even some tough love or you-think-you-have-it-tough raspberries.

I'm glad I procrastinated. So much of what is posted on the internet is kneejerk reactions; we hit "enter" before our minds have really thought about the impact of what we have typed. Safe in our cyberspace anonymity, we don't take the time to wonder if our words will hurt or irritate or escalate an argument. We put in our two cents when the rate of exchange calls for silence.

 I may still be in too deep, but the world doesn't need to be concerned; I'm happy to tread water for a bit.